Billy Madison Script Pdf

Billy Madison Movie Script

Spanglish by james l. Brooks shooting draft. F a d e i n: 1 i n t. B e d r o o m - m e d i u m c l o s e - m a l e f o r m - l a t e a f t e r n o o n 1. Spanglish by james l. Brooks shooting draft. F a d e i n: 1 i n t. B e d r o o m - m e d i u m c l o s e - m a l e f o r m - l a t e a f t e r n o o n 1. Get this from a library! Billy Madison: [screenplay]. [Tim Herlihy; Adam Sandler].

No, you remembered to do that. Man, why did I have so many drinks? I can't remember.

(~ 'Telephone Line' by Electric Light Orchestra ) Speak for yourself, moron. That is funny! Next.: the shocking story of power and corruption involving a hotel tycoon. How his 27-year-old millionaire son cheated his way through school.

Don't worry about it. Next week you're gonna have another teacher to annoy. I don't want to annoy another teacher, Miss Vaughn. I want to annoy you. - Miss Vaughn! - Somebody stole all our lunches.

My name is Max Anderson.and I am the principal at the Polly Fector Elementary School. Recently a young man named Billy Madison was enrolled there. During that time Mr Madison was disruptive. The only reason he passed was that he offered me a bribe of $5,000.

Billy Madison Movie Script

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out. Is it just you and your dad in here? Well, actually, no. Bluestacks windows 7 32 bit. There's Juanita, and some maids and butlers and stuff.

Old man Clemens hates shit! Here he comes!

A little confused, kinda sweaty.a little hungry.but all in all I'm OK. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. Well, what can I say? I know most of you are sayin' 'Hey, any idiot could do that.' ' Well, it was tough for me, so back off! Sorry about that. - Yahoo, Billy!

My dad was yellin' at me. I'm just not in the mood. Hey, Billy, who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?

That you were an honours student? How could I hand over to someone who couldn't get through school on his own? I don't know. Don't think about it. Just hand it over. Well, listen, don't you think you better go to bed? Big day tomorrow.

Nudie-magazine day! Nudie-magazine day! (squawking ) Holy jeez! Lookee what we got here.

Bill, I think Eric is up to something. - Who's Eric? - He works for my dad too. He gets the company if I screw up.

I know what you're sayin'. You're so smart. (phone rings ) Hello? Is this Danny McGrath?

- Well, as long as you know. Well, all right! (bell rings ) (children shrieking ) Hey, mister, guess what I had for breakfast. Scotty likes beans, don't you, Scotty?

First this psycho goes on TV, lies, then retracts it. And now Eric's secretary is in a coma. Carl, has anybody been able to find out anything about this Max guy? He's vanished.

You're a bad penguin. Call the zoo! All the people at the zoo are very nice, penguin.

- (squawks ) It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin' around here. I gotta send him back to the South Pole. Don't you dare run away! Come here, Mr Penguin! I'm one of the good guys, penguin. Don't run from me! You're a bad penguin.

We're gonna start today by reading a short story entitled 'My Sister ***'. OK, so let's all open up our Reading is Fun books to page 69. Class, say hello to Billy Madison.

- Hello, Billy. Billy is going to be sharing our fun and learning for the next two weeks. Billy is special, just like each and every one of you.

Discuss, citing specific examples. (yelling ) (clears throat ) Uh. The Industrial Revolution, to me, is just like a story I know.called The Puppy Who Lost His Way. The world was changing.and the puppy was getting. Fight night free download pc. So, you see, the puppy was like industry.in that they were both lost in the woods.and nobody, especially the little boy - society - knew where to find them. Except that the puppy.

Everybody my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

- Well, as long as you know. Well, all right!

Then Madison Hotels is as good as mine! (rock music from car ) (laughter ) - (student ) Nice shirt. (bell rings ) Now the cell's happy. But other molecules are saying 'We'd like some energy too.' ' And it uses its own pigment molecule, chlorophyll, to carry out the action.

And, worst of all, nobody believes me. I believe you, Billy. And I believe in you. You know, some people have no willpower, no brains, no vision.

- I'm so depressed. - Want me to take my shirt off for you? - No, thank you. But remember, the offer is on the table. Oh, God, yes. - Billy Madison.

I believe you, Billy. And I believe in you. You know, some people have no willpower, no brains, no vision. They just drift through life like lumps of crap. What is she talkin' about? And you have all those things. You're just afraid to use 'em.

Damn guy drives like an animal. That's all right, Billy. Why don't you go back and sit down now? - I double-dare you. - Go sit down now. (children giggle ) Yeah, here we go again. Another treat from the road.

- What does that mean? - Carl, what does that mean? I don't know. It means an academic decathlon. One day, ten events, testing all the knowledge one would gain in high school. Me versus you.

(rings doorbell) Oh, my God! Old man Clemens hates ***! Here he comes!

He called the *** 'poop'! This is the best night of my life! I'll get you damn kids for this! You're all gonna die! Billy, could you step in here for a moment? I have big news. Eric is pregnant!

Don't you ever say that. Stay as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. (Veronica ) Jennifer, why don't you read out loud? You gotta cherish it. I don't understand it. I mean, ten years ago high school was the greatest.

Dan, you may begin. Girl.who w.' ' - He can't even read. - Cut it out, dude.

That wasn't very nice. How 'bout you, sideburns? You want some of this milk? Rather have a beer.

One, two, three! Hey, Billy, how come you ain't poundin' any tonight? I don't know. My dad was yellin' at me. I'm just not in the mood. Hey, Billy, who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?

And you have the teacher, alone, in your tent. What do you wanna do? Well, I can think of three things I'd like to do.

With this guy sitting on everyone's head, I wonder how he got his teaching degree? No, you can't do that to me. Those kids are my whole life! So you wouldn't want anything to happen that would make 'em think less of you?

(reporter ) That was Principal Anderson of Polly Fector Elementary School. You made a fool out of me. This was a mistake from the beginning. Brian, I got some interim forecasts for you to. - Why is everybody so glum?

The Industrial Revolution, to me, is just like a story I know.called The Puppy Who Lost His Way. The world was changing.and the puppy was getting. So, you see, the puppy was like industry.in that they were both lost in the woods.and nobody, especially the little boy - society - knew where to find them. Except that the puppy. But the industry, my friends.that was a revolution. Knibb High football rules!

(whispers ) No. Ask her if she would ever go out with somebody from class. - Just do it! Um, Miss Vaughn, would you ever go out with anybody from class? You see, Ernie, grown-ups like to go out with other grown-ups. - What about Billy? - You're more of a grown-up than Billy.

(blows raspberries ) Smiley. There's something important I was supposed to do today. Have five daiquiris? No, you remembered to do that. Man, why did I have so many drinks? I can't remember.

Billy: Yeah, so what's your point? Brian: R-O- C-K! Billy: The 'C' is silent, ha-ha! Billy: Man, why did I have so many drinks? I can't remember! What's today? Frank: October?

- What was that, Ernie? (high-pitched) Nothing.

To die: to sleep; No more. (boy ) Billy! Hey, hey, hey. O'Doyle rules!

I thought I was your Snack Pack. - What are you talkin' about? Bill, you're gonna miss the bus. Yeah, you better get your beautiful buns up that driveway. - What a weirdo! - (Juanita laughs ) ~ Oh, back to school ~ Back to school ~ To prove to Dad that I'm not a fool ~ I got my lunch packed up ~ My boots tied tight ~ I hope I don't get in a fight ~ Oh, back to school ~ Back to school, back to school. Well, here goes nothin'.

I can't remember. - What's today? It's nudie-magazine day! Watch out, butler! Ooh, you're a quick one. Nudie-magazine day!

Turns out she's my third-grade teacher. First thing she does is kick me out of her class.

Is it just you and your dad in here? Well, actually, no. There's Juanita, and some maids and butlers and stuff. And people who work for my dad are always stoppin'. And my friends are always sleepin' over, even when I didn't ask 'em to. - Sounds like a hotel.

Touch her boobs? That's assault, brother. Ya double-dare me? Miss Vaughn, how long till we get there? - I have to go to the bathroom.

I mean, I can do this if I set my mind to it. High school was a pain in the ***, but I graduated. Because I paid your teachers to give you decent grades. I've regretted it every day since. I thought at the time.if you could get good grades, you might get into a good college. -.and straighten yourself out. - I don't believe that.

O'Doyle rules! - What's goin' on? - Miss Vaughn's sick. (teacher claps ) Please take your seats. - Who's that guy? - Principal Anderson.

Is he lying or are you lying? Oh, well, listen, kids. It's not always as simple as all that. The statement I made about Billy Madison was and is completely untrue. I know now that I shall never escape my fate. -.as the Revolting Blob. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I choose Business Ethics. The American business environment has fundamentally changed.following the insider trading and savings and loan scandals. Explain business ethics, and how they are applied today. The, uh, ethics of, uh, business.can be summarised in. Ethics are, uh. You know, the.

Everybody my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

One of those flaming bags again! (Barbara ) Don't put it out with your boots, Ted. Don't tell me my business, devil woman. Call the fire department. This one's outta control(!) (sniffs ) It's poop again!